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Drive a taxi. It's fun. Really.
December 22, 2004
I had yesterday off, in preparation for what I assume will be the final assault of the Oct-Dec taxi season.
Then, I get THREE days off. Count 'em. I know you can do it.
But first, sadly, I must endure these last two days of end-of-the-world traffic. I must be strong. I will take no shit. I will take all (your) money. And the world will be a better place...
And everyone will make it home safe. Because that's how I do this job. FOR THE PEOPLE.
THEN I MAX AND RELAX LIKE A CHAMPION. And make some real damn plans for dead ol' January and February. Because there won't be squat to do in the cab except run that iPod though the car stereo (loud). It's a good thing I actually followed through on my grandiose expectations of myself. A rarity, but I had some help this time. And I doubt I'll have more of them serious blues for quite a while.
Be back in two days. Less if something 'happens'. Which is never a good thing this time of year.
Then, I get THREE days off. Count 'em. I know you can do it.
But first, sadly, I must endure these last two days of end-of-the-world traffic. I must be strong. I will take no shit. I will take all (your) money. And the world will be a better place...
And everyone will make it home safe. Because that's how I do this job. FOR THE PEOPLE.
THEN I MAX AND RELAX LIKE A CHAMPION. And make some real damn plans for dead ol' January and February. Because there won't be squat to do in the cab except run that iPod though the car stereo (loud). It's a good thing I actually followed through on my grandiose expectations of myself. A rarity, but I had some help this time. And I doubt I'll have more of them serious blues for quite a while.
Be back in two days. Less if something 'happens'. Which is never a good thing this time of year.
December 21, 2004
December 14, 2004
How not to conduct yourself in a taxi.
I think we've reached the point at which approximately a third of New Yorkers have completely lost it. It's not like I haven't seen that good old holiday(s) effect before; the difference this year is... I'm actually working through it. Like, seriously. As though I really want the money. So I'm out there doing five-day weeks like the rest of the fully employed. After this week, though, I am going to cool out... by working 3 days a week for the next 2. That's right.
I am taking Christmas Eve and Christmas Day off. Nyah.
I am taking New Year's Eve and New Year's Day off. Neener.
And I'm adding two more random days to each of those weeks for good measure, so that I know that I am TAKING A MOTHERFUCKING BREAK from this crazy job. You're all driving me nuts, New York.
But first I must endure Thursday through Saturday night this week. So let me have it while you still have the chance. I could give a fuck.
This is for the lady that complained about how hot it was in the cab, was the only person in years for which the dome light was not sufficient lighting, and then told me to fuck off when she underpaid me ($1.00 surcharge issue).
Have a another crappy day today too.
This is for the guy that constantly let me know about me about being in the wrong lane. 'The other lane is faster,' etc etc
Calm the fuck down, jackass, you got there and I hope you had a lousy time at your too-hip-for-you-to-even-know what side of the avenue the bar/club was on.
This is for the couple who confused the hell out of me at the end of the job and moaned about being put in the wrong 5 foot stretch of curb.
Screw both of yas, I didn't steal your legs and feet on the way up there.
This is for the woman who got in my cab at Bleecker and Lafayette and directed me to go to Bleecker and Thompson. When I made the obvious turn onto Lafayette, she freaked out and told me I was going the wrong way. Thompson was the 'other' way. She was hopeless, told me she couldn't believe a taxi driver wouldn't know where Bleecker and Thompson was. She said she wanted to get out. I said 'lady, you're going to Bleecker and Thompson, I don't care how confused you are.' I kept driving, made the turn onto 3rd street and blasted down it to Thompson, made the left and stopped at Bleecker. The trip took 2 minutes. The fare was $3.80. She gave me $5 and exited the cab with the normal end of trip transaction routine.
The tip was nice. Thanks, but not even apologizing, or even acknowledging at any point that you insulted me while nearly screwing up the the job is a lousy way of operating. Lady, I saved your ass (in a very minor way, to be sure). Please consider altering your approach, there's more than a few drivers out there that would've totally lorded it over you at the end of the trip.
The last set are young folks in love. They start arguing in the cab. Never mind the details. The girl gets so angry she gets out right in the middle of the avenue and walks off. The guy calmly apologizes (on the girl's behalf, heh), and directs me to pull over when the light turns green. He pays and leaves in pursuit of his jealous girlfriend.
I hope you kissed and made up. It's the post-holiday party madness, you know. It'll pass. Best to the both of you.
That's it for now. New York, you royally suck right now. I can't wait for January to hit, even if I can't pull a dime out of the job. At least people are almost reasonable.
I think we've reached the point at which approximately a third of New Yorkers have completely lost it. It's not like I haven't seen that good old holiday(s) effect before; the difference this year is... I'm actually working through it. Like, seriously. As though I really want the money. So I'm out there doing five-day weeks like the rest of the fully employed. After this week, though, I am going to cool out... by working 3 days a week for the next 2. That's right.
I am taking Christmas Eve and Christmas Day off. Nyah.
I am taking New Year's Eve and New Year's Day off. Neener.
And I'm adding two more random days to each of those weeks for good measure, so that I know that I am TAKING A MOTHERFUCKING BREAK from this crazy job. You're all driving me nuts, New York.
But first I must endure Thursday through Saturday night this week. So let me have it while you still have the chance. I could give a fuck.
This is for the lady that complained about how hot it was in the cab, was the only person in years for which the dome light was not sufficient lighting, and then told me to fuck off when she underpaid me ($1.00 surcharge issue).
Have a another crappy day today too.
This is for the guy that constantly let me know about me about being in the wrong lane. 'The other lane is faster,' etc etc
Calm the fuck down, jackass, you got there and I hope you had a lousy time at your too-hip-for-you-to-even-know what side of the avenue the bar/club was on.
This is for the couple who confused the hell out of me at the end of the job and moaned about being put in the wrong 5 foot stretch of curb.
Screw both of yas, I didn't steal your legs and feet on the way up there.
This is for the woman who got in my cab at Bleecker and Lafayette and directed me to go to Bleecker and Thompson. When I made the obvious turn onto Lafayette, she freaked out and told me I was going the wrong way. Thompson was the 'other' way. She was hopeless, told me she couldn't believe a taxi driver wouldn't know where Bleecker and Thompson was. She said she wanted to get out. I said 'lady, you're going to Bleecker and Thompson, I don't care how confused you are.' I kept driving, made the turn onto 3rd street and blasted down it to Thompson, made the left and stopped at Bleecker. The trip took 2 minutes. The fare was $3.80. She gave me $5 and exited the cab with the normal end of trip transaction routine.
The tip was nice. Thanks, but not even apologizing, or even acknowledging at any point that you insulted me while nearly screwing up the the job is a lousy way of operating. Lady, I saved your ass (in a very minor way, to be sure). Please consider altering your approach, there's more than a few drivers out there that would've totally lorded it over you at the end of the trip.
The last set are young folks in love. They start arguing in the cab. Never mind the details. The girl gets so angry she gets out right in the middle of the avenue and walks off. The guy calmly apologizes (on the girl's behalf, heh), and directs me to pull over when the light turns green. He pays and leaves in pursuit of his jealous girlfriend.
I hope you kissed and made up. It's the post-holiday party madness, you know. It'll pass. Best to the both of you.
That's it for now. New York, you royally suck right now. I can't wait for January to hit, even if I can't pull a dime out of the job. At least people are almost reasonable.
